Olympia 2018: Conclusion: Curling is cool, Hattigucki once again!

At 23. SPOX editor Lukas Zahrer was in continuous operation at the Olympic Winter Games.

His conclusion does not include any sporting analyses, but rather deals with the essential things such as the A-Team, animal welfare and local knowledge.

Olympia-Hero: One thing first: I’ll be there at the next Winter Games! All I need is a country where there is no competition, plus a sport in which the mere presence in the World Cup is enough to qualify for the Olympic Games. Just like the “Hungarian” Elisabeth Swaney, ski freestyle pro.

Broken neck: Austrian snowboarder Markus Schairer was really thrilled in the boardercross, as he himself would say. After his impact, he was immediately unconscious, broke his fifth cervical vertebrae, and did what real people from Vorarlberg just did: get up, go to the finish line. From there he wanted to fly to the hospital in an emergency helicopter, but didn’t go because it was supposedly only meant for “real emergencies”. I’d rather go to the hospital in a rented car.

Meanwhile, the Schairer-Bua is doing well again, an operation in Feldkirch has been successful. And he is happy that he has something in common with the only true Steirer-Bua: he is made of metal – at least in parts.

What did the American media make of the story?”Dude breaks neck and finishes race!”, it was said in several headlines – somehow it’s true.

Curling is awesome: Right on time for the start of the Winter Games, the great Mr. T, known from the A-Team, placed his TV set on Olympia and moved for the remaining two weeks not one centimetre.

During the 16 official competition days, he developed an unexpected love affair to an elegant peripheral sport. He commented on the opening ceremony with his usual American pathos, but already on day one, the romance was expressed for the first time on Twitter:”I am enthusiastic about the Winter Games. And I watch sports that I never expected to see. For example curling. You heard me, Curling, Fool!”

Over the next few days, more and more explanations of what makes “chess on ice” so attractive followed:”It’s different, not as easy as it looks. On competition day six he already developed a slightly journalistic vein, twittered results, and added:” I really like curling, and I learn a lot about it “Like for example:” Curling is about finesse, about straightforward and controlled power. Not as brute force as in my bouncer days, oh no!”

And further:”Curling goes less on the body. I was a wrestler, boxer, and I ran martial arts. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. When Skip John Shuster’s team took the USA deeper and deeper into the tournament, Mr. I’m sitting here on my comfortable couch with an iced tea in my hand. That can only mean one thing: It’s curling time, fool.”

For the final he had a good prognosis:”I see pain for Sweden, a victory for the USA” He should be right. Three times he congratulated Team Shuster on a perfect tournament. And we Mr. T to his new love: Curling is cool, foolish!

Hattigucki again! In the midst of the hockey final thriller the cross-country skiers started the marathon distance over 30 kilometres. I let myself be so infected by the DEB miracle that even Ösi wished me nothing more than a German victory in the final.

Shortly after Kaprizov secured this but the OAR team, I looked back on the race with disappointment, but I saw that my compatriot Teresa Stadlober was in second place,”Unbelievable, we’re still making a medal after all,”I shouted to the completely unimpressed US sports colleague and was looking forward to the last big Olympic moment. I got that too.

Suddenly Stadlober was no longer in the group of pursuers, but was completely alone in the picture. Teresa’s father Alois, formerly a world-class cross-country skier himself, commented the race live on ORF and immediately knew that something was wrong:”She got lost, something happened. You’re wrong! She went wrong, fuckin’ cabin. Where did she go now?”

Absolute resignation quickly followed:”Everything off – my God is there. I didn’t think she’d come along alone like that. How is that possible? That’s inconceivable. God didn’t want that.”

And then a fatherly analysis:”That is bitter, I have never experienced that before. I don’t know where she’s going. This is bitter – in the form of a dream. It looks like she really might have been able to walk on the medal. And then the unimaginable mistake happens. Where was she thinking? Has she been to the medal yet? This can’t be happening. Hattigucki again.”

Wildwechsel: Disclaimer – No animals were harmed in this film.

In the video analysis it is noticeable: The squirrel has a good body control, but in the traction on the way back it leaves a few tenths of a second. This must improve in Beijing by 2022.

Way Up: The end of the Olympic Games is killing me. I feel nothing but a yawning emptiness, am devastated, and hope to find something to pull myself up again.